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August 18th -12:41 p.m. Turds In Unusual Places Sunday evening, as I wearily climbed the stairs from the bowels of the Downtown Crossing subway station, I suddenly discovered a steaming turd blocking my path on the steps at the Temple Place exit. Gingerly sidestepping this monstrousity, I wondered what kind of depraved beast could have left such a deposit that offends both eye and nostril? The only reasonable excuse would be that a seeing-eye dog had been the culprit, and perhaps that was the case. I sincerely hope so. Meanwhile, behind the dumpster at work last week, there had been a mischievous turd that was obviously human all too human. How can I be so sure? I hate to be the Sherlock Holmes of waste matter, but there were tell-tale pieces of ripped-up newspaper in the immediate vicinity - and what, Watson, do we deduce from that? January 18th -11:49 a.m. Artistic License I was the recipient of an extreme piece of good fortune this weekend as I was able to purchase an original painting by Brueghel for $50 at a sidewalk sale. The man who sold me this important work of art said that he was forced to sell the painting because, �all those medieval peasants running about give my wife the creeps.� Fair enough. Being the proud owner of an original Brueghel, I am now taking a much more active interest in the artist�s life. For instance, I have discovered that - contrary to popular belief - Brueghel was not a Flemish painter at all, but actually a Chinese master. This important revelation was the result of fairly simple research on my part: I turned the picture around and noticed that it had �printed in China� written on the back. So far I have written to the Louvre, Chinoiserie Collector magazine, and the Rev. Al Sharpton about my discovery. But I have not received any reply as of today. August 18th. -9:56 a.m. I am still pondering the "design" -such as it is - of this site. Some sort of images will need to be made for the Email, Previous Lives, and Double Life links on StephenLife; come to think of it, I need to put a text link in for Double Life. In case you are wondering, Previous Lives will be the archive section of the weblog when there is something to archive. Double Life is the other blog I have been keeping for nearly two years now. You can read it here August 16th -11:26 a.m I am not your buddy and I cannot spare a dime Today an aggressive bum on the side of the street called me a "deadbeat" because I refused to give him any money. Perhaps this persons inexorable decline into drunken waste was precipitated by his becoming trapped in an ironic hall of mirrors of his own design. It seems that bums are are beginning to understand the term "entitlement", and behave as though their ragged homelessness is an incurable medical condition they were unlucky enough to be born with. There was a charitable church group who once appeared on Boston Common with parcels of food for these gentlemen of the bottle. At first, the group bought wholesome, nourishing and healthy food, but nobody turned up. Later, they decided to bring cola, chips and oreo cookies - instant mob scene! There is something to be concluded from this occurence, but I am not sure what it is. � � 
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